Saturday 7 February 2015

Tick tock time o'clock

It’s 1:04am as I write this on Saturday 'morning'. No, I haven’t been out to dinner with friends, I haven’t been out partying and I haven’t even had too much coffee. I’ve got jet lag. In fact scrap that, I haven’t got jet lag. Aston, our 23 week old baby boy has jet lag and I’m downstairs with him while he goo's and ga's and gums everything he can in sight and is generally just wide awake. I have so much time right now (he woke up at midnight and is going to be awake until at least 4 or 5am) but none of it I can use to get any much needed running in and I can’t tell you how frustrated that makes me feel.  If I could chuck him in the running buggy right now and get my run in I would but I feel like absolute death. The importance of sleep (of which I learned so much more about in this great podcast about just that) shows me how silly I would be if I did just this. It also answers why a lack of sleep makes us heavier and less tolerant (two things that are really bothering me right now). 

What then does this mean for Comrades? Two things are important to point out here. Firstly I’m not stupid enough to not respect the distance. I will not go if I don’t get the training in and right now I haven’t done anywhere near enough training towards the end goal. However, I’m a stubborn, determined person and  I will not give in easily, which means I’ll do my absolute best between now and the big day to train ‘smart’ and if I had to put money on it I’d say I will be on that start line, but holy moly it’s going to take a turn around of epic proportions and from where I’m sitting right now in my dressing gown (having not had a full night's sleep since August the 29th 2014 (jesus that’s a long time) and being the most sleep deprived I’ve ever, ever been in my whole life, I’ve got a long hard slog ahead of me.

It’s now Saturday evening and between starting this at hideous o’clock this morning and writing this little bit more at what is currently 20:23 I’ve had the grand total of three hours sleep. I couldn’t run today because I couldn’t keep my eyes straight in my head never mind being capable of co-ordinating my legs in a forward motion. Don’t worry all is not lost, tomorrow I’m going to run the Harewood Half Marathon. It’s a really hilly off-road beast apparently. Considering I only ran about six times on holiday, all of which were 30min bimbles tomorrow is going to be ‘interesting’. But hey, God loves a trier and I did say I was an all or nothing kind of girl. Tonight’s amount of sleep is all important for tomorrow. I couldn’t give a flying fig how long it takes me as long as I enjoy the scenery, move my legs forwards and complete the distance. Sleep deprivation dependant my training in anger starts tomorrow. I’ll do a little post tomorrow night (seeing as this one is a week late already) and let you know how it went.

Even though I feel as unfit, heavy and as far removed from me as I possibly ever have in my entire life right now, I do feel positive that I can make the changes I need to return some of me back to myself. Aston is a week away from being six months old. I’m going to start weaning him off me and on to food and onto formula. He can also go in the running buggy now which means I can be independent enough not to have to always rely on Tom being able to look after him or my marvelously wonderful friends coming over so I can run giving me some much needed ‘me time’.  Having this independence makes me feel like there is light at the end of my unfit, unme tunnel. Come on!!! Comrades, your ass is mine J

H

1 comment:

  1. Oh my life...if I was scared about having children before I read this I am now petrified!! You're a real inspiration though and give me hope that having babies doesn't mean you can't accept amazing challenges and do amazing things. My finger's are crossed for you with Comrades!

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