The time is always now... unless it was 'then' and if I reminisce about 'then' I realise just how far I've come.
I'm also pleased that the time 'then' has gone.
'Then' was a dark place.
'Then' was hours of being glued to the same sofa in our tv room basically with one boob out (don't try and picture it, it's not pleasant).
'Then' was no sleep.
'Then' was running for ten minutes and looking and feeling like Bella Emburg.
'Then' was not being able to decide whether 'now' we are running Comrades or 'now' we've changed our minds and we're not.
'Then' was a time when there were two fat Comrades and 'now' there's definitely only one (but his time will come x).
And 'now'.... well...
'Now' the amount of time I sat my 'then' big beeeee-hind on the sofa in the tv room I have equalled in running and my beeeee-hind is not so big and I no longer get any boob's out, in any configuration and the postman doesn't have to hand over any of our post too large for the letterbox and stare at the wall behind me when I've answered the door feeding Aston. Oh. My. God...our poor postman!
'Now' I actually do get some sleep. Sometimes I'm treated to blocks of 4hrs at one time, never two in a row though, because that would be greedy.
'Now' is running for miles on end and four days later running for miles on end again on sore legs.
'Now' I also know Comrades is the rightest wrong thing I ever decided to do.
When I think about how hard I found the beginning of this whole process it makes me feel a bit funny. I was definitely looking at the edge of a very dark hole and although initially I felt like I was pushing myself further into that dark hole the further it took me the more I got out of it. The turning point being the last long run before Manchester Marathon and actually feeling okay. Then Manchester was great and my confidence grew and my runs were being backed up and I was having fun and I was loving the challenge and before I knew it I'd moved far, far away from the edge of that dark hole and travelled back into the light. Without Tom and my amazing friends I wouldn't have/couldn't have done this. I definitely couldn't have done this if my mate Hannah hadn't have spotted the importance of getting me out of the door, something she really helped me do in more ways than just looking after the kids for me. In-debted forever and eternally grateful pet, thank you lots.
So, all I have to do now is run 56 miles. The nice thing is I have no performance goal other than to finish it and my plan is to stick with the 11hr 'bus' as they call their pacing groups. So as I said to my friend Paula today, "...if you're tracking me and I'm running faster than 11hr pace, get yourself a gin and call me a complete eeeeeeejit. If I'm not with the 11hr 'bus' get yourself a gin because I'm being sick and poo'ing by the road side. If I am with the 11hr 'bus' get yourself a gin and pray I can stick with them to the end. Basically, drink gin!"
We fly out on Thursday night. Wuhoooooo, a train journey and a flight without: Children, Peppa Pig, wiping backsides, hand luggage that doesn't have 15 changes of clothes, nappies, creams, snacks, wet wipes, colouring in equipment and an Elsa doll. I almost feel like I could get away with just packing my trainers. Ah the bliss of travelling light.
Time to log off as I'm actually typing into my 4hr block of possible unbroken sleep.
Next time I blog I'll be on the 'other side' whatever that means. I do know though that whatever the outcome the process has got me back to who and where I wanted to be. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Let's get these 56 miles done shall we! Thanks so much to you all for your kind words, support and general loveliness.
H x
Ps: In case you need a magnifying glass to see the my number in the picture above it's 24737
